Perfectionism
When doing your best never feels like enough
Perfectionism can look like high achievement from the outside—but underneath, it often feels like anxiety, self-criticism, and fear of failure. You may feel driven, capable, and put-together, yet still chronically unsatisfied. There’s always more to do, a higher standard to meet, or something you could have done better.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. We offer online therapy for perfectionism to adults who are ready to get off the hamster wheel of never feeling “good enough.” Together, we’ll explore the deeper roots of these patterns and work toward a more compassionate and sustainable way of being in the world.
What Does Perfectionism Feel Like?
Perfectionism isn’t just about wanting things to go well—it’s about needing them to, often at the expense of your peace of mind. You might notice:
Constant self-criticism or imposter syndrome
Difficulty relaxing or celebrating accomplishments
Procrastination driven by fear of making a mistake
All-or-nothing thinking or intense fear of failure
A sense that your worth is tied to productivity or performance
Perfectionism often develops as a way to feel safe, worthy, or in control—but it can become exhausting. Therapy can help you step back from unrealistic expectations and connect with a more grounded, flexible sense of self.
Small Steps That Can Help (Right Now)
While perfectionism isn’t something you can “solve” overnight, here are a few small ways to begin shifting the pattern:
Notice your self-talk. Would you say the same things to a friend? Try softening the tone.
Allow imperfection in low-stakes areas. Let the dishes sit. Send the email without rereading it five times.
Take breaks on purpose. Rest is productive too.
Name your fear. Are you afraid of failing… or of being seen as “not enough”? Naming it gives you power.
Try “good enough” as a goal. Perfection isn’t sustainable—but showing up consistently is.
These steps won’t change everything overnight, but they’re a start—and they’re proof you don’t have to live in overdrive forever.
Our Approach to Perfectionism Therapy
Perfectionism is often about more than high standards—it’s about shame, control, fear, and a deeply ingrained belief that you have to earn your worth. In therapy, we’ll work to understand where those beliefs come from and how they’re impacting your life today. Our approach draws from:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT) to challenge rigid thinking and self-judgment
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) to help build emotional flexibility, self-compassion, and distress tolerance
Relational and trauma-informed approaches to explore how earlier experiences shaped your expectations of yourself
Strengths-based work to help you reconnect with what matters to you—not just what looks good on paper
Mindfulness and nervous system regulation to create space between pressure and response
This work isn’t about lowering the bar—it’s about shifting how you relate to yourself, so you can show up fully without burning out.
You’re allowed to be a work in progress. Ready to take the pressure off?
We invite you to schedule a consultation and explore whether working together feels like the right fit. Change is possible—and you don’t have to do it alone.